Check This Out!!

Fran at Small Bird Studios is having a giveaway. Go enter for your chance to win a beautiful memory box. I have. I want an oval one in green and brown for Wyatt.. :)

Fran is also hosting the 12 days of christmas with you in heaven. She does so much for this community of women. What an inspiration.

So go over and check it out.

paula

Once in a Life Time

“Once in a young lifetime one should be allowed to have as much sweetness as one can possibly want and hold.” ― Judith Olney


                                                                     my sweetness

face time

my face feels sad. it feels heavy. it feels like it wants to cry. it is the only way i can explain it. i, myself, am not particularly happy or sad but it seems my face feels as though it is.

it is the strangest sensation.

it is right up there with feeling so hollow inside and yet feeling like i am about to burst at the same time.

i don't know how to explain it any better then that.

but isn't that odd?

my face feels sad. :(

i carry your heart with me

by e e cummings

 

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
                                  i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

just a few more odds and ends

"You might want to lie down... "I find that it helps when the crushing sense of horrible realization sets in."
— Cassandra Clare (City of Ashes)

i do believe that this may be the very reason i sleep all the time.

my sister-in-law had her healthy baby boy the other day. so i had to lay down after that realization set in. i found it helpful. though it did not stop the tears.

bankrupt

Disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy - the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation.
Eric Hoffer

this & that for today.

i am feeling a bit like simon today. don't know who to scream it to or what i did to deserve this or to feel this way, but I'M SORRY! (p.s. one of the best movies ever!)

this little guy made me giggle. i need him in the worst possible way. i do, however, believe his cloud should be in grey or black. he can be found hanging out with the cupcake girls. this is his name,Why does it always rain on me? and what the cupcake girls have to say about him "This little fella just can't catch a break". i feel the same way. i think this is why he should be mine.

"When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.” ― Fred Rogers

this little nugget of wisdom was found here at UnspokenGrief on facebook and is why i ♥ mr. rogers.

Tomorrow is World prematurity day. We remember and honor all those beautiful babies born too soon into this world.

5 of my babies were born premature. i am lucky that kayla and cameron were able to make it out of the nicu and are here with us today. i am blessed that i got to spend 13 days with wyatt while he was with us in the nicu. and though mary and ethan were born far to soon at 20 & 17 weeks and never made it to the nicu, they were held and loved and are forever missed.


paula