HEY K!! This ones for you.

so my daughter says if i don't start posting more often she is going to stop reading. so this post is for her.

first and foremost happy belated birthday to you k, from my blog. the big 15, i can't even believe it. it has all gone by way to fast. i love you and the woman you are becoming. (how cheesy is that? but it is true!)

this is me and my k on her birthday.....

isn't she lovely??? i may be biased, but i definitely think she is. and you can't see it in the picture but she is also really smart and sensitive and so good at taking care of me. oh! and responsible, can't forget that. she has been waking me up for school since she was in the 3rd or 4th grade! isn't that amazing! amazing in that a child that young could be that together and amazing in that her mother could be that big a slacker!!! btw she still wakes me up. but as the commercial says "depression hurts" and makes you super sleepy. i would sleep all day if they (and by "they" i mean the world in general and my people. because for reasons unknown to me "my people" seem to like me awake and spending time with them) would let me.anyway, please excuse all the run on sentences it seems to be how my brain rolls these days. maybe it is the untreated adhd? who knows. don't like to mix my meds and fibromyalgia and depression first, adhd second.

second, k is a voracious reader. she likes all types of books and if she comes across one she really enjoys, she will lock herself in her room and finish it in a matter of hours. WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON by  John Green & David Levithan 2010 is one of those books. she asked me to read it and i thoroughly enjoyed it. and as many of you may know, i LOVE a great quote. so without further ado, in regards to my life and my loss, this is the quote that spoke to me most. (p.s. k i also underlined this in your book, in pen, hope you don't mind.?. ;0).......

'when things break, it's not the actual breaking that prevents them from getting back together again. it's because a little piece gets lost -- the two remaining ends couldn't fit together even if they wanted to. the whole shape has changed.'

i think this speaks to my heart. so many pieces of my heart are broke and missing that it could never be the same heart again, even if i wanted it to.......................................... 'the whole shape has changed.'

k, i hope you enjoyed this post. thank you for recommending this book, i loved it. but never as much as i love you. i want you to know, that if a mother and daughter could co-exist as best friends you would be mine. but i would never wish that to be, because i am so blessed to be your mom! i know your birthday wasn't the happiest on record, but i hope there was a lot of happiness mixed in. ~ love, your mom

one more of me and my girl.... i love her!!

and this was her birthday present last year......

how could we ever top that? she often asks "who takes a birthday present back after only 13 days?" i would like to know the answer to that question myself.....but that is a post for another day.

if there is still anyone out there reading this (because even my daughter is threatening to quit :) good night.

paula