what i've been reading

ok, so i am not your normal grieving mom when it comes to my reading choices....

i have been reading I'm Proud of You ... Life Lessons from My Friend Fred Rogers

it is a great read. especially if your dealing with depression, heart ache and death. it also makes you want to run out and get a friend/mentor like Fred Rogers. this book spoke to me in so many ways. here are a few of my favorite lines from the book that he (Mr. Rogers) tells/writes to his friend.(because we all know i love a good quote :)

"anything mentionable is manageable"

and how true is that, the more i mention and talk about my wyatt the better i seem to be at managing my emotions. controlling them, absolutely not, but managing is not the same as controlling.

"that which is most personal is most universal"

and i find that to be true every single day. the more i reach out and share with others, the more i realize i am not alone.

"you are beautiful..., inside and out, and those who care about you are privileged to share your pain... as for suffering, i believe that there are fewer people than ever who escape major suffering in this life. in fact i'm fairly convinced that the Kingdom of God is for the broken-hearted. you feel 'powerless'. join the club, we are not in control: God is."

oh, to have some one in my corner to put it so clearly in perspective and to have that kind of faith in me, what a joy that would be.

"your wounded heart is a very beautiful heart. in fact, it has probably allowed you to understand the hearts of all others who are 'wounded' . and whose isn't in some way? some are just a little more obvious than others."

in this book the author (Tim Madigan) also speaks of "the illness (depression) that made it almost impossible to fully love, nearly impossible to be emotionally connected to the people around you, no matter how much you might care for them."

i saw myself in this and am now seeking help. for the longest time i just thought it was grief and bits and pieces of it still are but deeper still is an undercurrent that keeps pulling me down. but because of this book i am hoping for brighter days ahead.

he also speaks of a time in his life when "everything came crashing down- my self-esteem, my energy to live and work, my sense of being loved, my hope for healing, my trust in God...everything."

and i couldn't have said it better myself. on so many days this is exactly how i feel.

well without a doubt, i could go on and on quoting passages from this book. i loved it. i found it when i needed it most. it is so uplifting and yet so real. i can not recommend it enough. it also makes me want to go out and learn more about Mr. Rogers.

can you be jealous of a person you don't even know? because i am. i want a Mr. Rogers in my life too.

~paula~