Letting go doesn't mean we don't care.
Letting go doesn't mean we shut down.
Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave.
It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment.
It means we stop trying to do the impossible,
Controlling that which we cannot,
And instead, focus on what is possible--
which usually means taking care of ourselves.
And we do this in gentleness, kindness,
and love, as much as possible."
~Melody Beattie
our electricity was out from 2:00 - 12:00 yesterday which means i got A LOT of sleep. but i did wake up at around 9:30 last night and accidentally woke my husband up too. which, it turns out was not a bad thing. he was know held captive in bed with no real place to go and nothing to do. so i just talked about everything that was on my mind and heart. i held back very little and i made myself expect nothing from him in return. that turned out to be a good thing because i got very little. but i do have to say in the beginning he was laying on his side with his back turned to me and by the time i got through talking he had rolled onto his back and closer to me. i am going to take this as a good sign, mainly because i need one, even if it is one i made up. but by the end of the night I felt better, just knowing that he knows how i feel and being able to get everything off my chest. i don't know if this is going to help but i hope it does.
so all that to say i am "Letting Go". it doesn't mean i don't care. it doesn't mean that i am shutting down. it does mean that i am going to stop trying to force outcomes and make my husband behave the way "I" think he should. It means i am going to give up resisting the way things are, for the moment. It means i am going to stop trying to do the impossible, controlling that which i cannot, and instead, focus on what is possible-which means taking care of myself. And doing this with gentleness, kindness, and love, as much as possible.
hopefully we will find our way back to the couple we use to be. maybe we won't. but maybe through all of this if i take care of me, i will come out of it ok.......
paula
our electricity was out from 2:00 - 12:00 yesterday which means i got A LOT of sleep. but i did wake up at around 9:30 last night and accidentally woke my husband up too. which, it turns out was not a bad thing. he was know held captive in bed with no real place to go and nothing to do. so i just talked about everything that was on my mind and heart. i held back very little and i made myself expect nothing from him in return. that turned out to be a good thing because i got very little. but i do have to say in the beginning he was laying on his side with his back turned to me and by the time i got through talking he had rolled onto his back and closer to me. i am going to take this as a good sign, mainly because i need one, even if it is one i made up. but by the end of the night I felt better, just knowing that he knows how i feel and being able to get everything off my chest. i don't know if this is going to help but i hope it does.
so all that to say i am "Letting Go". it doesn't mean i don't care. it doesn't mean that i am shutting down. it does mean that i am going to stop trying to force outcomes and make my husband behave the way "I" think he should. It means i am going to give up resisting the way things are, for the moment. It means i am going to stop trying to do the impossible, controlling that which i cannot, and instead, focus on what is possible-which means taking care of myself. And doing this with gentleness, kindness, and love, as much as possible.
hopefully we will find our way back to the couple we use to be. maybe we won't. but maybe through all of this if i take care of me, i will come out of it ok.......
paula
{Hugs}
ReplyDeleteI am glad you got everything off your chest and hope you feel a little better because of it.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are feeling better after letting all of that out. I'll be praying for you guys and for your ability to let go. Sounds like a very peaceful way to live. xx
ReplyDelete