Silent Tears
By Emily Hughes
By Emily Hughes
After all the months of sorrow,
After the many hours of pain,
What is left of ourselves is hollow,
What is here, is never the same.
After the many hours of pain,
What is left of ourselves is hollow,
What is here, is never the same.
When at first we were quite vocal,
And many stood to hear,
Those who would listen have moved on,
And we are left with our silent tears.
And many stood to hear,
Those who would listen have moved on,
And we are left with our silent tears.
We cry when we remember,
We cry when we forget,
We cry until our tears run out,
And we cry because it’s all we have left.
We cry when we forget,
We cry until our tears run out,
And we cry because it’s all we have left.
While the world continues turning,
And the weeks turn into years,
We are mother’s forever mourning,
Shedding silent tears.
I am a mother forever mourning, but sometimes I forget their are other's mourning right along with me.
my 10yr. old asked me the other day what his brother felt like.....and for the life of me i couldn't remember and i couldn't answer his question. he also wanted to know why he didn't get to hold him and touch him because i had told him, while i was still pregnant, that when the baby got here he would get to do all these things. i forget that HE is mourning. the grey's anatomy commercials have really been bothering him too. he thinks it's mean that they would put that on tv and don't they know it makes people sad, "doesn't it make you sad mommy?". i forget that HE is sad. i guess he really wanted to know what wyatt felt like because day before yesterday he asked my mom too. she tried to explain but told him she had never touched him. she had. SHE'S beginning to forget too. my big boy cried his eyes out, she said. he is not a crier, she has never seen him cry, which in turn made her cry her eyes out. SHE is sad too. so last night i bit the bullet. i acted like a grown up. i put on my big girl panties and had a hard but sweet conversation with my big boy. i gave him one of wyatt's monkeys. (it is actually just a kohl's for kids curious george monkey that we have had forever, it was originally my big boy's, though he doesn't remember. but i found it after we lost wyatt. it just reminded me of him so much and it was soft just like him (i remembered) and i would sleep with him and rub his paw and think of wyatt.) i told cam all these things about the monkey and asked if he would like to sleep with it and keep it in his room as a way to remember his brother. he said yes. then we talked about how he is a big brother ( he had talked the other day about when he becomes a big brother and i made sure last night that he knew he already is one to wyatt. and he made sure to remind me that not only is he a big brother to wyatt, he is also a big brother to ethan....HE remembered, I forgot.:( ) and has babies watching over him in heaven and how he still has to set a good example because they watch over him all the time. i think it was a good talk. but it just reminds me how much we are all still hurting and mourning and it also reminds me how quick we are to forget and that just makes me sooo sad. :(
paula
dear wyatt and ethan, please watch over you big brother and comfort his heart. he misses you both so much. wyatt, please give him peace and maybe some special dreams about the time he got to spend with you. goodness, i miss all of you all my babies sooo much and i can't wait until we are all reunited one day. until then could you make a family sandwich in honor of your brother and send him lots of love. he sure does love you all.
xoxoxo~love,
mommy
And the weeks turn into years,
We are mother’s forever mourning,
Shedding silent tears.
I am a mother forever mourning, but sometimes I forget their are other's mourning right along with me.
my 10yr. old asked me the other day what his brother felt like.....and for the life of me i couldn't remember and i couldn't answer his question. he also wanted to know why he didn't get to hold him and touch him because i had told him, while i was still pregnant, that when the baby got here he would get to do all these things. i forget that HE is mourning. the grey's anatomy commercials have really been bothering him too. he thinks it's mean that they would put that on tv and don't they know it makes people sad, "doesn't it make you sad mommy?". i forget that HE is sad. i guess he really wanted to know what wyatt felt like because day before yesterday he asked my mom too. she tried to explain but told him she had never touched him. she had. SHE'S beginning to forget too. my big boy cried his eyes out, she said. he is not a crier, she has never seen him cry, which in turn made her cry her eyes out. SHE is sad too. so last night i bit the bullet. i acted like a grown up. i put on my big girl panties and had a hard but sweet conversation with my big boy. i gave him one of wyatt's monkeys. (it is actually just a kohl's for kids curious george monkey that we have had forever, it was originally my big boy's, though he doesn't remember. but i found it after we lost wyatt. it just reminded me of him so much and it was soft just like him (i remembered) and i would sleep with him and rub his paw and think of wyatt.) i told cam all these things about the monkey and asked if he would like to sleep with it and keep it in his room as a way to remember his brother. he said yes. then we talked about how he is a big brother ( he had talked the other day about when he becomes a big brother and i made sure last night that he knew he already is one to wyatt. and he made sure to remind me that not only is he a big brother to wyatt, he is also a big brother to ethan....HE remembered, I forgot.:( ) and has babies watching over him in heaven and how he still has to set a good example because they watch over him all the time. i think it was a good talk. but it just reminds me how much we are all still hurting and mourning and it also reminds me how quick we are to forget and that just makes me sooo sad. :(
paula
dear wyatt and ethan, please watch over you big brother and comfort his heart. he misses you both so much. wyatt, please give him peace and maybe some special dreams about the time he got to spend with you. goodness, i miss all of you all my babies sooo much and i can't wait until we are all reunited one day. until then could you make a family sandwich in honor of your brother and send him lots of love. he sure does love you all.
xoxoxo~love,
mommy
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