it is what my husband said to me as i was getting off the phone with him today. but you know what it is NOT all good. it will never be ALL good ever again. there will undoubtedly be moments that are good or even great but without all my babies here without wyatt held safely in my arms without my dreams recognized it will never be All good again. those days of being blissfully happy, i am afraid, are soooo far behind me, i may never be able to find them again.
and i have decided to stop holding back. i have a few people who have asked to read this and i don't mind them being here with me in this place. as long as they don't mind hearing what i truly without any reservations have to say. sometimes it will not be pretty and sometimes it may be about them. but i sought out this place for a reason and it was so i would have a place to be me without having to worry about anyone else. and from here on out that is what i intend to do.
so from here on out buckle up it is going to be a bumpy ride.
paula
Paula,
ReplyDeleteThere aren't words to express my sorrow for your losses. I agree life will never be "all good". Not after losing babies. I hope you do write how you feel, good or bad. If others don't like it they don’t have to read!
Thinking of you.
Elainna
Paula,
ReplyDeleteI did the same thing I didn't really tell many people about my blog until right before Christmas because I didn't think they would view me the same if they knew my True thoughts on my losses. But now as you have read in my own blog I am seeking out for people to comment to tell me if my thoughts are so out of bounds.
So I have my seat belt on and I am ready for the bumpy ride because I am a fellow BLM (baby loss Mom) and I too hold my feelings in. So we will let them out together.