I was...it came out slowly to his friends when he was ready..not when I was ready for him to express his emotions. They were also expressed in ways I didn't expect. Hopefully that will be the case with your hubby...mine just wanted to stay strong for me..which didn't work for me.
I understand completely. My husband's whole family is seemingly emotionless. I get tiny tiny glimpses of emotion every now and then (maybe 3 times in the past year) but if I say anything then he completely shuts up again. He thinks it's better for me that way...no matter how often I tell him I need to know he cares and emotions aren't bad. Hang in there...and try not to punch him! :-)
I have to say, this made me laugh! I think it must be a guy thing! My husband has his moments but usually keeps it all in. I've never considered punching him... but maybe I should ;)
My husband is the strong silent type, and the first year after our loss was the most difficult and straining on our relationship, for the simple fact that i grieve better out loud ( ie. talking about it) and he seemingly moved on without wanting/needing to discuss the loss or his feelings. I felt something was wrong with me for not being able to "move on" at times, and others I though something was wrong with him..I mean, how could he not feel the magnitude of our loss the same way I was? Turns out--he does miss our daughter, our dreams and being a dad. He does think about it , and things people say to irk him sometimes ( the "you wouldn't know--you're not a parent" comments etc.).
Perhaps your husband does think about it, but just doesn't verbalize? I know how frustrating and lonely it can be feeling like the only partner that grieves...but he's human, so it's in there somewhere, it just might not present itself the same way we women tend to.
oh yeah! my husband is incredibly introverted and i get so very frustrated that he won't share with me what he is feeling. glad i'm not alone in this, but also sorry others suffer from it!
I am glad I am not the only one!!!! I had a horrible day on Monday and was crying and he told me to knock it off and not act like this around my son but it is hard when all I wanted to do was hold my daughter one more time that day!!
Yes! My husband is driving me nuts, he acts like I should just forgot about everything when it hasn't even been 3 months. He keeps telling me I'm way to depressed, seriously! I just wish he would show a little emotion, but maybe its because he was never the pregnant one it easier for him to just push aside.
I was...it came out slowly to his friends when he was ready..not when I was ready for him to express his emotions. They were also expressed in ways I didn't expect. Hopefully that will be the case with your hubby...mine just wanted to stay strong for me..which didn't work for me.
ReplyDeleteI understand completely. My husband's whole family is seemingly emotionless. I get tiny tiny glimpses of emotion every now and then (maybe 3 times in the past year) but if I say anything then he completely shuts up again.
ReplyDeleteHe thinks it's better for me that way...no matter how often I tell him I need to know he cares and emotions aren't bad.
Hang in there...and try not to punch him! :-)
I have to say, this made me laugh! I think it must be a guy thing! My husband has his moments but usually keeps it all in. I've never considered punching him... but maybe I should ;)
ReplyDeleteMy husband is the strong silent type, and the first year after our loss was the most difficult and straining on our relationship, for the simple fact that i grieve better out loud ( ie. talking about it) and he seemingly moved on without wanting/needing to discuss the loss or his feelings. I felt something was wrong with me for not being able to "move on" at times, and others I though something was wrong with him..I mean, how could he not feel the magnitude of our loss the same way I was? Turns out--he does miss our daughter, our dreams and being a dad. He does think about it , and things people say to irk him sometimes ( the "you wouldn't know--you're not a parent" comments etc.).
ReplyDeletePerhaps your husband does think about it, but just doesn't verbalize? I know how frustrating and lonely it can be feeling like the only partner that grieves...but he's human, so it's in there somewhere, it just might not present itself the same way we women tend to.
oh yeah! my husband is incredibly introverted and i get so very frustrated that he won't share with me what he is feeling. glad i'm not alone in this, but also sorry others suffer from it!
ReplyDeleteI am glad I am not the only one!!!! I had a horrible day on Monday and was crying and he told me to knock it off and not act like this around my son but it is hard when all I wanted to do was hold my daughter one more time that day!!
ReplyDeleteYes! My husband is driving me nuts, he acts like I should just forgot about everything when it hasn't even been 3 months. He keeps telling me I'm way to depressed, seriously! I just wish he would show a little emotion, but maybe its because he was never the pregnant one it easier for him to just push aside.
ReplyDelete