just found a great new blog..http://www.team-ewan.com/...and wish i could be so articulate in my pain.(most of the time i am at a loss for words) everything she is posting right now just resonates within me so much. my favorite though, has to be "down & dirty". i am having such a hard time with faith right now.
i want to believe, i HAVE to believe. i have to have something to hold onto. but sometimes i do feel forsaken. i do feel like god may be having a good laugh at my expense. (remember this is not my first or second or third or fourth rodeo). i do feel that god may like kicking me when i am down and may not EVER want me to get back up.
but what i do believe is this (and it is pretty simple) i do know that he is there. in what capacity at this point i am unsure. but i know that he is there and my babies are with him and i will see them and hold them again someday. this is what i HAVE to believe because without that i would have nothing and i NEED something!!
paula
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