you touched me.

a life so brief. a child so small. you had the power to touch us all.
and you did baby, you so did. you made me realize so many things about me, about my past, and about my future. you were only here for 13 days but oh what that 13 days meant to me.

those 13 days, those 13 days where others beside me got to know you. they were a gift. a gift that meant i didn't have to sweep another loss under the rug. a gift, that i could finally mourn all my babies. a gift, because i got to mourn you. it has been so hard losing you. but you, giving me those 13 days has been one of the best presents i could have asked for. now don't get me wrong, i would trade it all if it, if it meant even one more day, hour, minute, second spent with you. but if you had to go, i am soo glad we had the chance to get to know you before you left.

you gave me the gift of therapy. of finding an awesome grief counselor who believes in me. who believes i can get through this and come out better and stronger on the other side. someone who believes i am strong and resilient and a fighter(you taught me how to do that, how to fight, i can honestly say i learned that from you.) you gave me a glimpse of what my future might hold. an idea or maybe more of a passion to help people in my similar situation. you have given me goals and dreams. you have opened my eyes to art and finding my true happiness. now if i can manage to follow through on these things this will be my gift to you. my gift to you is my future.

i love you baby xoxo

mommy